RAMBLING: Remember When ...

car seats looked like this?


I don't, but my mom sure does. I'm up in Long Island, New York cleaning out my grandfather's house (he's in assisted living now), and she found that car seat in a closet. I used to ride in that thing. SERIOUSLY. I don't know what good it did, the buckle was USELESS.

Seriously who couldn't get out of that buckle? My mom even chuckles because at the time that seat was bought it was the top of the line model, fairly expensive and by today's standards not worth a penny.

That's the funny thing about cleaning out a grandparents' house. You find stuff. My favorite part is the old pictures. I love seeing my mom growing up, though there seem to only be pictures of her when she was like 1 and then in college haha. Not sure what happened inbetween there. Then there's my grandmother who HATED having her picture taken, so much so that she was NOTORIOUS for cutting herself out of pictures. You'll find what look like delightful pictures with someone's head missing! That headless person is ALWAYS my grandmother. And it makes me sad because she meant the world to me and if I could I would have a million photographs of her.

Speaking of, I think the saddest part about someone dying is forgetting what they look like. I know what my grandmother looked like, BUT from photographs. I was only 9 when she passed away and can't remember what she PHYSICALLY looked like in my memories. I remember things about her, her silver hair and impeccable clothing. Her shoe collection and handbags. Eating lunch and watching soap operas. Her telling my grandfather to "Slow Down Pete" when he was driving too fast or the way she would rub my arm to sooth me before bed. I remember her calling me punkin and just showering me with the most love I think I could ever try to describe. But I can't remember HER! And it's heartbreaking. When I dream about her, it's her presence, not her. When I think of her, it's her presence. I suppose this means that she's living on, but it saddens me that I can't remember her!

I Want to be in the Arms of the Angel,
Bronwyn

RAMBLING: I See Said the Blind Girl

LLB was still hanging out in a rear-facing seat. I had read how much safer it was and honestly she wasn't bothered by not facing forward. She didn't know any differently and she is barely 22 pounds so I felt so much better knowing she was safe.

Lately though she's been pitching fits in her carseat. It had nothing to do with being rear-facing, again she didn't know any better. But I knew if I flipped her it would give her something "new" in the car and she would likely stop pitching a fit.

So the seat was flipped around last night. My first thought was how much bigger my backseat looked with the seat turned around. It was like the rear-facing seat had eclipsed 1/2 the back of my car for almost 2 years! She was happy to get into it this morning. I commented on how much more she would be able to see. To which she proclaimed "I SEE!" Now this goes back to my glasses, when I take them off I proclaim, "I can't see" to her to stress how important they are. Then when I put them back on I say, "I can see!" She has taken to stealing my line.

The whole ride to childcare she shouted "I SEE!" over and over. It was hysterically wonderful. The clincher was when we arrived at the childcare center. I went around to take her out. To which she told me, "no." She then kicked, screamed and wriggled in her seat, the way she used to do as I loaded her INTO the carseat before. When I got her out she kept shouting "Seat! Seat!" to me. It was her way of telling me to put her back.

It was adorable, she didn't want to get out of her seat. Heading home from work had much the same effect. We get home, she whines about leaving the car. I suppose it's better then listening to her scream the whole car ride somewhere.

Smack It Up, Flip It, Rub It Down,
Bronwyn