RAMBLING: Terrible Twos Meet LLB

I've complained since she was 15 months that the Terrible Twos begin early. But I realized at about 18 months that her problem at 15 months was her communication. Suddenly around 17-18 months that fixed itself, she learned how to communicate a bit better about her needs and I was able to calm her down.

Now the LLB is 20 months old and it's a whole other story. She's looking down the barrel of the two year old gun and she's ready to explode. I try not to take it personally, I try to remember that some of her behavior may be my fault, but not ALL of it is. I try to remember that it's a phase and will pass.

Today she lost it for the first time in public. We were leaving the doctor's office, collarbone is healing nicely by the way, and the appointment time was 1pm. LLB naps from 12:30-3 so from the get go I knew we had an issue. Well she behaved very well for the appointment. I was shocked really. But upon leaving she got irate with me for trying to put her shirt back, what a mean mommy, I am!

She cried and even shouted a bit while we waited for them to make her follow-up appointment. She carried on in a way I've never seen her do and I had no choice but to stand there holding her. She hit me, tried to bite me, she was irate and I couldn't do ANYTHING about it. Finally we finished there and she nuzzled into my neck. The one position she can do that makes me forget what a monster she is!

I probably would have lost my cool with her had we not been in public. So I've done some asking around and found some good tips ... in hopes that I'm not the only one going through this, here they are:

Use Distraction: When your child starts getting worked up, try turning her energy and attention to a new, acceptable activity like playing a favorite tape or singing and dancing.

Stay Calm: A gentle tone of voice says you're in control. Sure, the calm, even-tempered approach may not be immediately rewarding, but you will see the effects as your child increasingly grows toward self-control. (This sounds hard!)

Place in Crib or Playpen: By placing your child in a crib or a playpen, you can remove some of your attention from their tantrum.

When in Public. If your child's behavior is embarrassing you, simply remove her without discussion or fuss. Then, wait until she's completely calm before continuing with your outing.

Don't Use Bribes: It only reinforces the negative behavior and ultimately teaches your child that if she wants something, all she has to do is scream and kick loud enough to get it.

Common Causes of Tantrums:
Frustration, Emotions, Control, Physical Hunger, exhaustion, over stimulation, boredom, not feeling well. Choices, too many or too few.

Welcome to My World,
Bronwyn

RAMBLING: Toddlerwide Wrestling Federation

I posted this on my blog but I'm x-posting it here in hopes someone has some advice.

The LLB has a mean streak. It comes out every evening approximately 1 hour before bed. We have fun rough-housing and goofing around on the floor until she turns into a Gremlin. She smacks, bites, scratches, pulls hair ... I'm lucky I don't have scars, though I always have marks to prove it.

I like playing with her and I don't mind if it gets a little rough, BUT I can't take the outright abuse and I don't like that once she starts she won't stop. Telling her no doesn't seem to do it and punishing her breaks her down to tears and then she goes right back to the behavior.

Has anyone experienced this before? Does anyone have any tips? I've tried time outs, I've tried repeating some of the behaviors back to her without any force (ie LIGHTLY pinching her cheek when she's just pinched mine), I just don't have any more ideas left.

Victim of Parental Abuse,
Bronwyn

RAMBLING: 1, 2 Buckle My Shoe

The LLB has a TERRIBLE habit. It's tragic really. She takes her shoes off ... yes that's right I said it. I know that doesn't sound so bad. But picture it, she's all dressed and ready for "school." I load her in the car and hit the road. Halfway through the trip I hear her say it, "SHOOOOOOOOOOES." And I know it's coming. Sure enough one shoe is off, and the other is on it's way. She then flings them in the car.

When I arrive to her childcare center I'm then stuck searching the car for the shoes. And have to reassemble the LLB before we can head in. Now this might not sound like a problem. But it's annoying and I'm anal. And let's not even talk about the times that she's wearing SOCKS and shoes. She takes both off and I have to battle with her to get them back on.

Does anyone else's toddler do this? My mom took great pleasure in this story, apparently I did this as a child, too. Nice that she doesn't look like me almost at all, but instead picks up my personality traits. Look out world, we've got a Mini-Me!

Shoe Fly Don't Bother Me,
Bronwyn